The first step to finding and keeping love – stillness

When we declare our love for someone, we really mean, I am at peace with you. At peace means I lack any emotional negativity and therefore, saloton I let down my guard.

When we let down our guard to another person, it means we are at peace with them. There is no need for defense or protection against them. We can call it trust, but it goes beyond that. In love means, this person as entered your being, beyond the guardians that exist in your mind, deep into the recesses of your being.

If we had no fear, we could fall in love with many people easily. But we do have fear and so, we cannot fall in love easily. So the science of falling in love comes from the science of overcoming fear.

Here, I am not talking about the fear we experience on a roller coaster, stimulated by a sense of physical endangerment. But the experience of the body to fear is exactly the same. The body does not, in the end, know the cause or source of the danger, shayarilo it reacts with adrenalin and causes safety.

If you burn yourself on a stove, there is a healthy fear of heat. You will not put you hand near a flame again without that memory causing caution. Many times, that fear of flame, causes over caution and in doing that, can actually drive over reaction and in fact cause the very thing that the fear was meant to protect.

In love it is the same. Sometimes things happen in the past to cause a healthy fear. But we over react to those things and in doing so cause them to happen. If someone betrayed your trust (a parent or lover) then your fear of being betrayed will cause you caution, and that caution is a form of suspicion, and that suspicion causes your lover to withhold information and that leads to them doing what you fear.

Fear is a mental perception. Fear is an emotion that can become automatic, ashkelon10 but was originally driven by some form of belief. When we lack trust in our parents, we fear losing control. When we fear losing control we fear anything that takes us into places we cannot escape from. Claustrophobia, fear of flying, open relationships, and obsession with business success result. What we are really saying, but with an automated response, is that “I have no trust, and therefore I have no peace with the world” this person will look for a relationship that overcomes these fears and in doing so, sabotage it.

Relationships are not designed to overcome fears, actually they bring them out. So, if like me, your mother died when you were young, you’d probably have a fear of people leaving you. And because of that, be afraid that someone would steal your partner. So the more you fell in love, the more you feared and then the more likely you’d be to run away, thinking the one you loved was going to leave you anyway.

Overcoming fears, means peace of mind. In my own circumstance, gavison-medan it was like pealing layers off an onion. I would peal off a belief that was driving some mental disturbance, fear, and think I was done. A month or so later the disturbance would return, I would think I had failed, and go back to that same fear. But it was gone. The layer had been removed, and now, I was in a new place, same fear at the root, different experience on the surface.

The pealing away of these fear layers is a laborious job. They are all mental, so the physical jumping through hoops leaves us where we started. We must jump through mental hoops to deal with mental problems that cause physical fears. This is the journey of spirituality.

But for me, if I could offer people a gift it would be to peel many many layers of this onion as fast as possible. To get down to the core of love and get through the mental disturbances to the peace that can make love last. This is the gift of knowing the universal laws. You get the formulae that really, at the end of the day, explains everything.

Putting order in chaos, eliminates fear. Fear comes from false reality. Love comes from reality. But reality is subjective for most people. They think that what they think and feel is real. It is not. What we think and feel is not real, it is our perception. Those perceptions are built on experiences which in themselves are subjective. The way we interpreted the past, betabaatzo causes the way we translate the present, and the way we translate the present causes the future. Change your perceptions, change your life.

If you play cricket by any other rules than cricket, you’ll be sadly disappointed. If you play business by any other rules than those of business, you’ll go broke. And if you play love by any other rules than the rules of love, you’ll be single.

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